Tag Archive: Transformers


Now I have taken a break from writing, with working so much, and just plain being busy.  Once in a while a movie comes along and fills me with such passion that I’m forced to dust off the Laptop and let my fingers show my passion.  Transformers 4 is one of those movies.  Trailer Please!

Now this passion I speak of is utter ANGER and PISSED OFFNESS (if that can be a feeling).  This Movie is plain SHYT!!!  Now don’t get me wrong Transformers 1 was below average, part 2 was ok by a slim margin, part 3 was an abomination (not the good Abomination that the Hulk smashes), and part 4 follows in part 3’s Shitty footsteps.  Except part 4 tracks the shit in your newly furnished living room.

My disgust at this movie is my fault though, to take a misquoted saying from my close personal friend George W. Bush

Well I shouldn’t have been fooled again, but I have been fooled 3 more times and now this time enough is enough.  How does Michael Bay keep getting chances to make incredibly bad movies?  Then I realized how and why, he literally puts a gun to the head of our childhood faves and tells us “See this movie or I will blow it’s brains out!”  What do I mean by that?  We all want to see and experience a bad ass Transformers movie, because we grew up on the shows, or the comics.  We go into every Bay shit fest hoping to get something close to satisfying as what we remember growing up.  The trade off is that we don’t see the movies and Bay pulls the trigger and blows the franchises head off and Hollywood wont green light these types of movies, and we are left dreaming (Thundercats franchise anyone?).  Now he is going to let his stench touch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle franchise (granted TMNT 3 did a excellent job of burying the original trilogy).  As much as I want to not go see another Bay film, I will be checking out the Ninja Turtles and probably will be filled with the same wrath.

Now about the movie!  Marky Mark is great in it, even if he is not helped with the stupid slow mo shots for no reason.  We do spend a lot of time with the human characters, and personally the daughter, boyfriend and almost every human character except Max Payne I don’t care about and wish they would have been killed in a comical fashion.  I sat through damn near 3 hours of movie and I didn’t know what the movie was about.  First I thought it was about getting rid of the Alien robots in disguise, but yet the humans were working with a different sect of robot aliens.  Then it became about making a robot army with the tech and metal of the transformers, but then some seed thing was involved.  Also add in the “Creators” wanting Optimus back, toss in some resurrecting of old robots, and then throw in the Dinobots for good measure of fandom.  The complete utter disrespect they did to the Dinobots was a shame.  I wanted the cool Grimlock that was not friends with Optimus and really didn’t like Optimus unless it was about beat, breaking, or smashing things up.  The Dinobots for the most part were always anti heroes and sometimes villains.  They are only in this movie so we can see Optimus ride a T-Rex and Bumblebee ride a Pterodactyl.  The only good part about the whole movie is that all the money the series has made, has allowed for a ton CGI and etc for the Transformers.  You see them transform with no shaky cam, out in brightly lit environments, and they look amazing.  Just great in scale, size, and movement.  The fights are amazing and very fluid.  But that is it and that was all.

To best describe Michael Bay is this way

or this way

Now I never tell anyone to not see movies, because i have a love for the whole theater experience, but I Definitely PAID for this in losing sleep Thursday night so you Don’t have To!

Written By:   Jason Allen

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you like Man Stuff or just hate Maichael Bay destroying our childhood follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ

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Who is Megatron?  Rather where has Megatron been, maybe Dark Side of the Moon?  Detroit Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson is one of the most overrated and talked about players in the league, he commonly referred to as one of the best players in the game.  I think his nickname gives him more props then he deserves.

Why do people praise him as a great player or even one the best?  Does he get you Mega touchdowns or Mega receptions? Not really.  Does he get you good fantasy points? It’s ok.  Can he help the Lions get to the super bowl? Hell Nah!

When u hear the name “MEGATRON” you envision this enormous, chiseled, machine like entity who dominates the league and even Optimus Prime from time to time right? Well it’s not even close.  This season especially Calvin Johnson going into Week 9 is 13th in receptions (41), 7th in receiving (638), and one touchdown.  Yes one freaking touchdown, maybe he needs the “All Spark” to power him up.  He is also tied for 3rd in drops (7 out of 48 catchable passes), so maybe we should call him MegaDrops or StarScream. Eighty two other players in the league have more touchdowns than Megatron this season and they are half the price tag.

Yeah I know, he is always doubled covered, but what “Great” receiver hasn’t been doubled and triple teamed?  Even if you use that as an excuse or reason for the lack of numbers what about in Chicago and Seattle?  He saw a lot of single man on man coverage.  Charles Tillman and Richard Sherman should come out with book and call it “Revenge of the Fallen – defending Megaton by yourself!” Here is an excerpt of the Book:  Step 1– change your twitter handle and all your media names to Optimus Prime, or Sentinel Prime.  Step 2– play physical and keep him in front on a go route.

I know everyone is going to say well what about last year or previous years?  Easy to put up numbers when you are getting blown out and the defense is playing prevent.  Or Stafford is struggling, but Megatron is 25th in Yards After Catch (184yds), so he is not making explosive plays once he gets the ball.  How does a player get paid just as much as Kobe Bryant and Lebron James but provide average numbers and no championships?

Maybe instead of Megatron we should call Johnson Decepticon, because he is full of deception and lack of production.  It might seem like I’m hating or talking crazy, but you can’t get nicknamed one of the Baddest Mofos ever and have pedestrian numbers.  Let us not forget he’s on the Madden cover, Madden Curse may have struck down Megatron just like that Shia LeBeouf kid did in the movies.

Cool Reece

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