Tag Archive: Star Wars


With Comic-Con here I will probably be having a lot of “Something Cool”, and this one is great.  A facial…  I mean a head shot of Batfleck.

Now for you twenty something and younger, Christian Bale is your Batman.  For us 30-45, Michael Keaton, is our Batman.  For the 45+ Adam West is your Batman (BAM!!!).  Now it is a huge possibility that my daughter’s Batman will be Ben Affleck.  Now before everyone starts to hate, let’s at least give Affleck a chance.  If the script is strong the movie will be strong.  Please don’t throw Daredevil in my face, that script was weak and missed the essence of what Daredevil is as a character (hopefully the Netflix series does a better job).  And lastly I will admit I was never a fan of Jack Nicholson’s Joker as a kid (I know right, that’s blasphemy) I thought he was to goofy psychotic, and not enough menacing psychotic (for Goodness sake he danced around to Batman soundtrack made by Prince), or maybe it was just the heavier belly having part I didn’t like.  I wanted my Joker slender and menacing and just pure chaos.  So when I heard that Heath Ledger was going to be the Joker I was excited while everyone around me gaffed at the thought of A Knights Tale, battling the Dark Knight.  Hindsight being 20/20 we all loved Ledger’s Joker, and wished it didn’t end in tragedy so we could have seen him reprise his role in “The Dark Knight Rises”.  In all of this I really am just saying lets give it a chance before we bash!  Also this picture just looks awesome!

Also for good measure here is Superman as a Sith…  My favorite character with my favorite universe collide.

View image on Twitter

 

Written By:  Big J

No intro at all just watch and listen as your geek heart explodes:

 

BBBBOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, how great was that?  You know the first thing that popped into my head?  Buddy cop movie with the Joker and Luke Skywalker hunting down the Hobgoblin.  Now I know it’s hard to believe The Joker as a cop, but that would be the twist that the whole time The Joker was manipulating the events that Luke and him encountered all day and the Hobgoblin was really just a henchman to the Joker.  It would be like a creepy version of “Training Day” mixed with “Seven”.  You can just see Luke begging to know “What’s in the box?” and Mara Jada’s head is in there covered in clown paint.

Now I have taken this “Something Cool” into a galaxy far, far, away with making a movie idea out of Mark Hamill’s voice work.  Matter of fact, I think I’m going to watch it again.

 

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

For more cool shit follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ or subscribe to this site.

 

Now from my last post you can tell how much I love Star Wars.  The Clone Wars series as a whole has been great and has answered so many questions or rather fixed with better explanation the issues with the prequels (except the constant issue of Jedi being morons).  These lost episodes make you wish Cartoon Network didn’t cancel the series or at least let them finish what they started.  But we can’t cry over spilled Force milk (ok that sounds gross).

I loved almost every episode of these lost episodes.  Yes I could even withstand Jar Jar Racist Binks.  The great thing about these episodes they start to delve into the bigger issues in Episode 3 and beyond.  We see how Order 66, is executed (no pun intended) and established.  We get to see how Force users can exist after death (Force Spirit).  These episodes also get to show us the bad ass which is Mace Windu (well outside of the Gennedy Tartakovsky Clone Wars mini series).  We also get 4 episodes of Yodi on a journey.  Now I have always been a Yodi hater after Episode 2, with the Yodi vs Count Dooku match.  The Stars Wars world was impressed by Yodi and I was simply left thinking “He didn’t do crap to Dooku with all that flashing jumping and flipping”.  I started to hate Yodi even more after Episode 3 and he just quit during the Darth Sidious fight.  Yet here we get an awesome Yodi and Darth Sidious fight, that was more impressive.  So much to like and makes you wish again the Clone Wars team could have got an actual Series finale.

Not much I didn’t like these episodes, except the Anakin/Padme crap.  They have a 3 episode storyline that is almost as unbearable as Hayden Christensen’s acting in every movie he has ever done.  But even that garbage established the beginning riff between Anakin and Padme.  Now these episodes did give me those “Why are Jedi so FREAKING stupid” moments.  I don’t know if this was a consequence of knowing how it all ends or just poor common sense writing, regardless as a fan you get irked by the clueless force navigation of the Jedi Order.  Count Dooku basically tells Obi Wan, Anakin, and Yodi that Darth Sidious is in the Republic and again it is chalked up to, “The Dark Side is liars blah blah blah”.  After all the evidence that you have been given and all the answers you can’t figure out, you never once think that maybe Dooku is telling the truth.  Or that every lead some how goes back to Palpatine.  At one point they even say it and they all dismiss it has coincidence.  No wonder your whole Order almost went under.

It sucks to say goodbye to this great series that in every episode tried to correct all the misfires of the prequels.  At least we have episodes VII-IX to look forward, and maybe we can get lucky and NetFlix will revive the series to finish 13 more episodes (fingers crossed).

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

Follow me @Unsportsmenmic

Queue the music!

You can never start a “Star Wars” film without THE MUSIC, real or fake, it doesn’t matter.  So let’s actually show the trailer.

For the record I’m a huge Star Wars fan (come on they call me Big J, most fat guys love fantasy and etc), I buy books, I watch, see, seek out anything Star Wars related.  My last gifts to friends of mine were “Jedi Path” and the “Book of Sith”.  Every year for my Birthday I go to Disney for Star Wars month, and I’m currently trying to convince my wife why it’s a good idea for us (me) to purchase a Jedi outfit (specifically Dark Jedi Anakin) for my forever Halloween and costume party costume (and just to have one).   I stop letting my infant daughter play with my lightsaber, because she was “not old enough to appreciate it”.  Yes just like millions upon millions of people in the world, I am a true Star Wars fan.  Enough about my love and now on to the movie.

Now when this started it felt like a Star Wars film, at first.  The FX were not my biggest concern, I just wanted a film that felt right, you know how it took 2 and half movies for the prequels to “feel” right.  At the beginning it did just that, with the music, the scenery, and actually the bad acting.  The FX is actually not that bad really, we get a good many of Spaceship battles, and nice fun Battlestar Galactica laser firing from the 70’s.  It had a very old school feel to it and it added to my enjoyment of the beginning.  The FX for “the Force” are fun.  The lightsaber battles are better than almost anything in the original trilogy, and outside of maybe Maul vs Obi and Qui-Gon, you can make a case that Padawon Raven vs Lord Seige is a damn good lightsaber battle.   We also get a Han Solo wannabe, who was given some sort of backstory that we don’t care about, that is also a smuggler.  I half expected is ship to be called the Universal Eagle.  This movie is 110 minutes long (to long for a fan film) and was made on a 5,500-6,000 budget.  With all of that the weakness was never effects or scenery.  Everything wrong with it was everything wrong with Lucas prequels, THE SCRIPT!

The story is generic, but you would think that in a Galaxy Far Far Away, set 94 years after Return of the Jedi, that the Jedi would have evolved.  Now I know because my following how the Jedi evolve, but I at least expected the writers to do their homework and evolve the Jedi Order.  In this version Jedi still have to relinquish attachments ala Anakin in the prequels, but the writers do realize that Leia (spoilers of extended universe) marries Han, has kids, and is a Jedi.  Luke gets married and has kids, and the Jedi learn to love, have attachments, and not let it cloud there judgement.  The Jedi are still completely delusional about the Sith Lord, and apprentice.  Come on learn from the past Jedi!  Watch a Holocron once in a while.  Jedi Master Soran Darr had the to be the absolute worse thing about this fan film.  A lot of the characters were bad actors, but you can see most were having fun.  Master Soran Darr (strange typing Master) was an abomination of acting with no charisma or awesomeness. He made Hayden Christensen look like Will Smith in the charisma department.

For all my gripes and dislikes, it was still cool to see fans try to capture the fun of the world Lucas created.  I just think with more research this movie could have been better or truer to the source material.  If your a Star Wars fan please check this out with a bunch of fanboys and girls, get the drinks pouring, and just enjoy the stupidity of it all.  I’m already planning this movie to headline my next movie marathon at my apartment.  If your not a fan it will just seem pointless.  Rumor is they are planning two more sequels, but the first one took 9 years, I just say make a Cade Skywalker movie and call it a day, with him you can make it dark and throw out mythos at the writers discretion.  Remember I Pay For It So You Don’t Have To!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you want more Man Stuff follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ

I believe you can find this movie on YouTube, if not comment or Tweet me and I can give you the site I watched it on

 

 

For a few years now, well specifically after the 2007 Monday Night Football game, Cardinals vs 49ers, I made a bet saying if Alex Smith led us back to win this game I would never call him a bum, or insult him playfully again.  Well the unlikely became likely and Alex Smith did it.   Ever since then I started calling Alex Smith “The New Hope,”  being a huge Star Wars fan I thought it was a funny reference, but when I started to look at it; it was telling.  So here is the Alex Smith story told through Star Wars.  Queue the Music.

Episode I:  New Hope, sorry I mean Episode IV

     A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away…  The West Coast.  Alex Smith “Luke Skywalker” went to Utah which it might as well be Tatooine.  Urban Meyer -“Old Ben Kenobi” – was Alex Smith’s college coach in Utah.  As an Ute, Smith showed immense promise with The Force – his Junior year he posted 67% completion, 2952 yards passing, 32 passing touchdowns, 4 interceptions, 631 rushing yards, and 10 rushing touchdowns.  Meyer taught him the beginnings of The Force and he learned enough to warrant a 1st overall pick in the 2005 draft to the Rebel Alliance aka the San Francisco 49ers.

Commander Mike Nolan drafted Smith over Aaron Rodgers. He thought Smith to be a cerebral, introspective, and non-confrontational, while he felt Rodgers attitude wouldn’t mesh with Nolan’s.  Smith’s rookie year was a wash 1 touchdown to 11 interceptions.  In 2006 San Francisco gave Luke his Han Solo and Chewbecca, in the form of Frank Gore (the team leader, and anybody coming out of Miami can only be as badass and cool as Han Solo) and Vernon Davis (yeah partly because he had corn rolls and dreads – all that fur).

     Also, lets give Norv Turner a piece of the Obi-Wan Kenobi title.  Under Turner Smith had a 16 touchdown and 16 interception season, but that year Smith had a few Death Star moments. He threw 3 touchdowns versus the Oakland Raiders (hell, there fans wear Darth Vader Mask).  He also had comeback victories against Minnesota, Seattle, and Denver that year.  He started to build his legend and 49er fans loved it.  Until…  Obi-Wan got handled and took a job in San Diego.

Episode II, sorry Episode V (I will get this right I promise) Empire Strikes Back.

      From 2007-2010 we should just name the Empire the bad organization of the 49ers, because they gave him four different Offensive Coordinators in those 4 years.  Forget “Luke I am your father” and how about “Luke we will give you no consistency, terrible supporting cast outside of Gore and Davis”, (remember these Wide Recievers? Ashley Lelie, Darrell Jackson, Iaasc Bruce, Bryant Johnson, Josh Morgan, Arnaz Battle, and the list goes on). He did get his Princess Lela in Michael Crabtree, look at his professional career so far, from holdouts to toe injuries in preseason, and other dainty princess issues.

It got as bad as Mike Nolan questioning his heart and toughness while he was dealing with a grade three separated shoulder. In 2008 Smith missed the entire season because of another shoulder injury, once he got back Nolan was fired, but he had a new threat.  He had to fight through the pants dropping antics of Jabba The Hut aka Mike Singletary.  The greatest insult was Aaron Rodgers won his first Super Bowl in 2010, the same Rodgers that was picked 23 picks after Alex Smith.  How about “Luke you’re a failure and your city wants you out.”

           Episode VI:  Return of the Jedi (told you I would get it)

     Now I know all the geek purist are saying, “How could you talk about Empire and leave out Yoda,” (in my best geek voice ever).  Obviously I couldn’t figure a way to weave Yoda into the story (even George Lucas had a bad timeline in the prequels and he is a pro) because we all know who Yoda is, none other than Jim “Lil Crazy Walsh” Harbaugh.  He basically got the best out of Alex Smith, and yes he is a game manager, but we act like Luke didn’t need help from a team to be successful and Luke MANAGED to get Vader to turn on the Emperor to save the galaxy.  With a 13-3 season the 49ers returned to being thought of as a dominant Force in the league.  This chapter is not done being written – we still have a galaxy to save by hoisting the Lombardi.  So Alex let The Force be with you!

 

 

Jason

%d bloggers like this: