Tag Archive: Mark Wahlberg


Now I have taken a break from writing, with working so much, and just plain being busy.  Once in a while a movie comes along and fills me with such passion that I’m forced to dust off the Laptop and let my fingers show my passion.  Transformers 4 is one of those movies.  Trailer Please!

Now this passion I speak of is utter ANGER and PISSED OFFNESS (if that can be a feeling).  This Movie is plain SHYT!!!  Now don’t get me wrong Transformers 1 was below average, part 2 was ok by a slim margin, part 3 was an abomination (not the good Abomination that the Hulk smashes), and part 4 follows in part 3’s Shitty footsteps.  Except part 4 tracks the shit in your newly furnished living room.

My disgust at this movie is my fault though, to take a misquoted saying from my close personal friend George W. Bush

Well I shouldn’t have been fooled again, but I have been fooled 3 more times and now this time enough is enough.  How does Michael Bay keep getting chances to make incredibly bad movies?  Then I realized how and why, he literally puts a gun to the head of our childhood faves and tells us “See this movie or I will blow it’s brains out!”  What do I mean by that?  We all want to see and experience a bad ass Transformers movie, because we grew up on the shows, or the comics.  We go into every Bay shit fest hoping to get something close to satisfying as what we remember growing up.  The trade off is that we don’t see the movies and Bay pulls the trigger and blows the franchises head off and Hollywood wont green light these types of movies, and we are left dreaming (Thundercats franchise anyone?).  Now he is going to let his stench touch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle franchise (granted TMNT 3 did a excellent job of burying the original trilogy).  As much as I want to not go see another Bay film, I will be checking out the Ninja Turtles and probably will be filled with the same wrath.

Now about the movie!  Marky Mark is great in it, even if he is not helped with the stupid slow mo shots for no reason.  We do spend a lot of time with the human characters, and personally the daughter, boyfriend and almost every human character except Max Payne I don’t care about and wish they would have been killed in a comical fashion.  I sat through damn near 3 hours of movie and I didn’t know what the movie was about.  First I thought it was about getting rid of the Alien robots in disguise, but yet the humans were working with a different sect of robot aliens.  Then it became about making a robot army with the tech and metal of the transformers, but then some seed thing was involved.  Also add in the “Creators” wanting Optimus back, toss in some resurrecting of old robots, and then throw in the Dinobots for good measure of fandom.  The complete utter disrespect they did to the Dinobots was a shame.  I wanted the cool Grimlock that was not friends with Optimus and really didn’t like Optimus unless it was about beat, breaking, or smashing things up.  The Dinobots for the most part were always anti heroes and sometimes villains.  They are only in this movie so we can see Optimus ride a T-Rex and Bumblebee ride a Pterodactyl.  The only good part about the whole movie is that all the money the series has made, has allowed for a ton CGI and etc for the Transformers.  You see them transform with no shaky cam, out in brightly lit environments, and they look amazing.  Just great in scale, size, and movement.  The fights are amazing and very fluid.  But that is it and that was all.

To best describe Michael Bay is this way

or this way

Now I never tell anyone to not see movies, because i have a love for the whole theater experience, but I Definitely PAID for this in losing sleep Thursday night so you Don’t have To!

Written By:   Jason Allen

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you like Man Stuff or just hate Maichael Bay destroying our childhood follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ

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Bustin’ caps in the name of the U.S.A. has never been so heartfelt and interesting in a while.  “Lone Survivor” gives you a reason to chant U-S-A at the end of the movie.

Marky Mark and his funky bunch or rather gun-ny bunch go to execute Operation “Red Wings”.  Naturally if everything went right Hollywood wouldn’t green light this project, so instead everything goes wrong in a flash.  Now I admit I’m not the greatest Mark Wahlberg fan, I actually prefer Matt Damon (and I only mention this because I sometimes get them confused, is that Racist?  Ok yes it’s a bit racist that I think they look a like) so I wasn’t very stoked that he was the lead in this movie. When I looked at the rest of the cast I was sold.  You get Ben Foster, Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch, and I will proudly say I liked Speed Racer, even with Matthew Fox sucking the air out of the movie), John Carter/Gambit (Taylor Kitsch, man this guy can’t hit gold on a character to save his life, and I will stand up and say I enjoyed John Carter too.), and the ever outstanding Hector of Troy or should I say the forgotten Bruce Banner/Hulk (Eric Bana) in a smaller role.  This Funky Bunch made me drop my Mark Wahlberg bias (still haven’t forgiven Planet of the Apes and yes I blame Tim Burton too) and enjoy the heck out of this film.

I wont go into my detail about the movie because I figure from the trailer you can get the plot.  I will say I enjoyed the soldiers chemistry and how every character felt human, real, and authentic.  These guys acted and felt familiar, like we were just peaking into a regular day or life of these brave men.  So when it hits the fan, from a snitching little Taliban kid, you really feel for these soldiers and the heartbreak each character experiences as they lose a brother.  Another great aspect of this film was how it was filmed, you get a lot of close ups on the actors faces to see the pain and nuisance in their eyes and situation.  Now this filming trick can get tiresome or with bad acting can come across dumb, but here it adds impact that these conditions are draining the life out of our heroes, mentally as well as the bullets flying by their heads.  Also a negative that I think is a positive is how long this movie is.  It’s a 2hour running time and you FEEL it.  Now I said this is a positive because you start to feel restless and weary, in a certain degree it puts you in the shoes of our heroes (similar to playing “Uncharted 3” and the long drawn out dessert chapter).  And yes I got enjoyment out of the action, but to a certain degree.

At first I didn’t like how I got the feeling that our heroes were on PCP and could take a million bullets, bumps, dumps, explosion shocks, and keep on ticking…  rather limping.  When you see the movie you will know what I mean, but after talking to one of my Movie going Bromances (Shout out to Devin) he let me know that the real story, showed that some of the soldiers autopsy had them with multiple bullet wounds that still allowed them to be mobile, and that the director even tried to recreate the tattered looking uniforms bullet hole to bullet hole.  With knowing that my negative view of the over Hollywood-ing action of the movie went down a bit.  Even with that there was still to much falling heads landing on rocks and only getting a ringing sensation.  Now again if there is a deleted scene where they shoot up cocaine mixed with PCP to become almost invincible in the DVD then it would explain a lot.  It’s hard to or rather I can’t believe that just pure patriotic adrenaline helped them push through so much.

All in all go see this movie if you enjoy the war type epics.  I’m not a huge war movie guy, but I do enjoy them and I enjoyed Lone Survivor a good deal even with Matt…  I mean Mark Wahlberg.  This movie for me is like a Taliban soldier shooting a rocket launcher at a Bald Eagle.  Ok that was bad, but let me explain just saying I may not like the main guy, but shooting a eagle with a rocket launcher would look awesome.  Thus Mark Wahlberg in an awesome film that is fun.  Now you know I Pay For It So You Don’t Have To, but feel free to pay for this one.

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you like Man Stuff Cool stuff about sports, movies, tv, books and anything under the Sun, follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ

If you would like to submit an article about any topic feel free to contact me on Twitter or at jas.b.allen@gmail.com  All articles are accepted, even if I have to put a disclaimer for the raunchy stuff.

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