Category: Fun Talk


It is opt out season and all that ESPN is spouting about is where LBJ and Melo will land.  Most think the King will return to the paradise we call South Beach (and if you have ever seen a Pitbull video who can blame him), and ME-lo is looking to be lifted and landing in the Windy City, Chi-town!  All I hear is that both want more weapons and a place to win more rings or A ring.  When I hear this I think to myself why not the Washington Wizards?  I know I’m a homer, but now I will make an argument for why The King and Melo should seriously consider D.C. their new home:

1.  Young Talent

The Wizards have a backcourt that can become one of the greatest in the league for a few years.  John Wall and Bradley Beal are up and comers, and they could benefit from having a legitimate #1 option in the offense.  The Wizards are one of the youngest teams in the league so these guys will be around for a while and the team can grow with the eventual aging superstars.

2.  The team compliments your weaknesses

When you look at the Knicks and the Heat, rebounding and down low scoring was an issue for both, thus morphing LBJ and Melo into post up players, and having to become better at rebounding to help their respective teams.  Well if the Wiz resign Gortat and with NeNe already down there, they have size, rebounding, and scoring.  Also both of these big men can shoot the 12-15 footer.

The team weakness in the playoffs was lack of composure and no go to scorer down the stretch.  Add Melo or LeBron, problem solved.

The Heat struggled with Point guard play, enter Mr. Dougie/NaeNae Dance John Wall. They also have a wily veteran coming off the bench in Andre Miller to help too.

3.  The Bench/Depth is not San Antonio good, but they are not bad either

As I mentioned above you have Miller for leadership and veteran sensibility, but you have a young energy guy in Martell Webster as the back up SG.  I figure to get either one of these superstars we wouldn’t be resigning Ariza, but you would have  youth at the back up SF in Otto Porter Jr (who is a bust so far), Chris Singleton, and Glen Rice Jr. You then look at Old Man Drew Gooden, Al Harrington, and the younger Trevor Booker at the back up PF with Kevin Serephin in the back up C position.  Again great Depth and granted these guys would look a lot better with a Melo or LBJ on the court.

4.  The City

Growing up in D.C. (called “Chocolate City” when I lived there, or the “Gun Murder Capital”) it’s a beautiful city.  Everyone knows about the sights and history there, but it is not far off from being a legitimate major market.  Especially if one of the superstars were to grace the city and play there.  The D.C. market is as competitive as the Miami market, naturally D.C. can’t touch NY, but those stars would bring business and marketers there.  We just witnessed the RGIII craze.  Imagine the The King heading to D.C., LBJ would be come the Mayor and the President in the same year.  Imagine Melo coming here with his roots in Baltimore and not snitching.  Also his wife’s reality show would have to be filmed in D.C. bringing more awesome to the city.

Also there are very little to no sports demons of the past for them to battle in D.C.  When it comes to Basketball it is Wes Unseld, and that is it.  In Miami LBJ will always be held to D-Wade and Pat Riley’s popularity.  In NY Melo has tons of demons in the Basketball Mecca!  Washington D.C. could be the house they built, ala MJ and Chicago.

5.  You can do something Michael Jordan could not

You can accomplish something that the great Michael Jordan could not…  MAKE WASHINGTON D.C. A WINNER.  Now I know MJ was old and the air was out of the Jumpman, and he was more of a Ground man.  But MJ suited up and he couldn’t lead the Wizards to the playoffs, let alone sniff a Championship.  LeBron, you can claim a victory in a Jordan failure.  How awesome would that be?  Melo would begin to rewrite the books about his legacy with a Championship, but he can also claim that which “His Airness” could not.  That allure alone should push King James here, and that double win for Melo’s legacy should be tempting.

All I’m saying is that the Washington Wizards should be on these Superstars radar and sadly enough they probably are not.  So if everyone in D.C. or everyone that loves the Wizards could share this and build up a ground swell that maybe will reach one of these superstars we may get my wish, and eventually get all of D.C.’s wish and that is to win the NBA Championship!

Written By:

Jason Allen

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

You Like Man Stuff?  I’m sure you do so follow me for me of it @UnsportsmenBigJ

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No intro at all just watch and listen as your geek heart explodes:

 

BBBBOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, how great was that?  You know the first thing that popped into my head?  Buddy cop movie with the Joker and Luke Skywalker hunting down the Hobgoblin.  Now I know it’s hard to believe The Joker as a cop, but that would be the twist that the whole time The Joker was manipulating the events that Luke and him encountered all day and the Hobgoblin was really just a henchman to the Joker.  It would be like a creepy version of “Training Day” mixed with “Seven”.  You can just see Luke begging to know “What’s in the box?” and Mara Jada’s head is in there covered in clown paint.

Now I have taken this “Something Cool” into a galaxy far, far, away with making a movie idea out of Mark Hamill’s voice work.  Matter of fact, I think I’m going to watch it again.

 

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

For more cool shit follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ or subscribe to this site.

 

I think I’m going to start a segment called “Something Cool”  And to jump start this with who or what else than The Batman.  Hopefully this brings everyone back to their childhood with this one.  Also there is just something epic about the music in this and when I watched it on tv as a kid.  Enjoy!

 

I’m not the hugest Batman fan, when I was younger I did enjoy him more until I realized a lot of things about Batman I didn’t like. here is my list and goes a little something like this:

1.  He is a lunatic, only person I think is crazier than Batman is Rorschach from “Watchmen”.  You don’t believe Batman is crazy?  Please look at the facts:

-He dresses up as a BAT as a grown ass man!

-He trains kids to fight crime even after some have died, he vows to never do it again and then up pops another kid sidekick (or teen sidekick)

-In his fight against crime he refuses to use guns because his parents were killed by guns, yet everyone uses guns on him.  I would say that is dumb but we all know Batman is smart; see #2.  Hell at least use rubber bullets.

-When a villain is not afraid of an all powerful alien, but shudders in their boots because a man in a bat costume glares at them, that is insane.  In the words of the late James Brown, I don’t know Karate, but I know KRRAAZZYYY!  Now imagine a guy that knows both, beware Chuck Norris.

-He is a billionaire that rather spend time with a kid, and old man, in a dark, dank cave instead of being an awesome jet setting billionaire that has tons of sex with models, buying the night spots, and just going crazy with the family inheritance.

-Not to mention the women to really catch his eye are a Princess of an Assassins Guild, a cat burglar (granted the cat suit would do it for me too, especially if you throw Halle Berry, or Michelle Pfeiffer in it), Renaissance fighter, a spy for the Black Hand, a crazy plant lady who has tried to poison him, his former bodyguard, and an Amazon Warrior (Kudos if anyone can name all of the women I’m referring to, and then you will realize that you are as geeky and pathetic as I…  I call that a soul mate).  You date crazy, because you are crazy!

So yes Batman is Bat-Shit Cray (I know saying cray is very uncool now, its like when I first heard my mom say swag. WORD OFFICIALLY DEAD!) Crazy.

2.  I don’t mind insane characters, hell I like Rorschach, even the insane Deadpool, and Punisher.  Yet they make Batman unbeatable, which is my main problem with Batman.  Don’t give me the super intelligence angle either, you can be the smartest man in the world or even in the universe but one solid punch from a Man of Steel should shatter a skull.  Now lately they have made Batman more vulnerable and don’t have him going toe to toe with the likes of Darkseid, but there was a point when Batman was the underdog that could… no matter how unrealistic the odds.

3.  Batman is so FUCKING COOL!!!  And I hate him for it.  I’m a Supes fan through and through and the Ultimate Boy Scout can’t hold a candle to the awesomeness of Batman.  The hiding in the shadows, the overlooking the city like a crime fighting Gargoyle.  Just nothing compares to The Cool of The Batman (that would be a great album name for an Alternative Hip Hop Artist, Childish Gambino I’m looking at you).

Enjoy this short by the man who made my image of Batman so cool Bruce Timm (and for a lot of us he shaped our love for the DC Animated Universe, and I wish Timm and Dini would get back in to help with the movies):

Here is a trailer for the upcoming “Son of Batman”, and we know the DC Animated Universe hits Home Runs!  This looks amazing!

And lastly just a great geekgasm, this definitely has Frank Miller Batman era written all over it.  Lord why can’t we get this in real life?

Happy 75th Anniversary Batman and here is to another 75 years of being crazy, unstoppable, and cool!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you have the answers to all the Batman lovers or just want to debate how awesome you think Batman is to how much I think he sucks tweet and follow me @UnSportsMenBigJ

Nerves up, Heart racing, sweat on brow and upper lip.  Ball hiked pass thrown, pass tipped, and intercepted.  In a surge of anger/rage/disappointment I toss my 49er hat and Kick it up the hallway, while yelling FUUUCCCKKK!!!!  I walk right into my room strip down and go straight to bed.  Why do sports drive us so insane?

As I lay dreaming, I’m hoping that in my fit that a penalty is called, and I missed it. That the 49ers lead by Kaepernick won the game and I missed it all (granted my DVR would have been viewing).  That I would wake up to the 49ers repeating as NFC Champions.  Sadly enough that was not to come true and would remain in my dreams.

I was MISERABLE for two days.  My wife knew not to talk to me, my team members at work didn’t mention the game.  Even an open Seattle Seahawk fan I work with didn’t mention the game.  Everyone knew I was in a bad mood and it showed on my face.  How can a game that I placed no money on, that the result wouldn’t effect my life, except for my mood which is a direct result of me, change so much.  The Answer:  Passion and Love!

Sports fans all over the world know the feeling.  Some how we have built up this emotional tie to a team or person that can dictate or lives based on the results.  Even in the defeat the feeling lets us know we are alive, and in victory the joy can put a pep in our step like no other.  I have met people that their life is God, Sports, Children, Spouse, and Family.  Yes in that order!  And you can make an argument that the God is really a sport’s god.

I always say to myself, “Self if you could have that same passion for your work, or Blog you would be the most successful person ever”  and it’s true the same Passion and Love that can change my life for two days (or a week when the 49ers lost the Super Bowl) can be harnessed into my other loves then life would be even better.  So basically I’m writing this to say this year, I’m on a mission to learn how to build Passion and Love in all my walks of life and challenge everyone to do the same.  But we can never deny the rush that Sports give us and I’m thankful for the good/bad reminder that I’m ALIVE!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you want more Man Stuff (bad way to say that) fun talk about Sports, Movies, TV, Books, and just general things Follow me @UnSportsMenBigJ

If you want to guest write on UnSportsMenMic please tweet me, or email me jas.b.allen@gmail.com  All articles wanted and accepted!  I mean We Are The People’s Hope!

 

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