Category: Man Talk

It is opt out season and all that ESPN is spouting about is where LBJ and Melo will land.  Most think the King will return to the paradise we call South Beach (and if you have ever seen a Pitbull video who can blame him), and ME-lo is looking to be lifted and landing in the Windy City, Chi-town!  All I hear is that both want more weapons and a place to win more rings or A ring.  When I hear this I think to myself why not the Washington Wizards?  I know I’m a homer, but now I will make an argument for why The King and Melo should seriously consider D.C. their new home:

1.  Young Talent

The Wizards have a backcourt that can become one of the greatest in the league for a few years.  John Wall and Bradley Beal are up and comers, and they could benefit from having a legitimate #1 option in the offense.  The Wizards are one of the youngest teams in the league so these guys will be around for a while and the team can grow with the eventual aging superstars.

2.  The team compliments your weaknesses

When you look at the Knicks and the Heat, rebounding and down low scoring was an issue for both, thus morphing LBJ and Melo into post up players, and having to become better at rebounding to help their respective teams.  Well if the Wiz resign Gortat and with NeNe already down there, they have size, rebounding, and scoring.  Also both of these big men can shoot the 12-15 footer.

The team weakness in the playoffs was lack of composure and no go to scorer down the stretch.  Add Melo or LeBron, problem solved.

The Heat struggled with Point guard play, enter Mr. Dougie/NaeNae Dance John Wall. They also have a wily veteran coming off the bench in Andre Miller to help too.

3.  The Bench/Depth is not San Antonio good, but they are not bad either

As I mentioned above you have Miller for leadership and veteran sensibility, but you have a young energy guy in Martell Webster as the back up SG.  I figure to get either one of these superstars we wouldn’t be resigning Ariza, but you would have  youth at the back up SF in Otto Porter Jr (who is a bust so far), Chris Singleton, and Glen Rice Jr. You then look at Old Man Drew Gooden, Al Harrington, and the younger Trevor Booker at the back up PF with Kevin Serephin in the back up C position.  Again great Depth and granted these guys would look a lot better with a Melo or LBJ on the court.

4.  The City

Growing up in D.C. (called “Chocolate City” when I lived there, or the “Gun Murder Capital”) it’s a beautiful city.  Everyone knows about the sights and history there, but it is not far off from being a legitimate major market.  Especially if one of the superstars were to grace the city and play there.  The D.C. market is as competitive as the Miami market, naturally D.C. can’t touch NY, but those stars would bring business and marketers there.  We just witnessed the RGIII craze.  Imagine the The King heading to D.C., LBJ would be come the Mayor and the President in the same year.  Imagine Melo coming here with his roots in Baltimore and not snitching.  Also his wife’s reality show would have to be filmed in D.C. bringing more awesome to the city.

Also there are very little to no sports demons of the past for them to battle in D.C.  When it comes to Basketball it is Wes Unseld, and that is it.  In Miami LBJ will always be held to D-Wade and Pat Riley’s popularity.  In NY Melo has tons of demons in the Basketball Mecca!  Washington D.C. could be the house they built, ala MJ and Chicago.

5.  You can do something Michael Jordan could not

You can accomplish something that the great Michael Jordan could not…  MAKE WASHINGTON D.C. A WINNER.  Now I know MJ was old and the air was out of the Jumpman, and he was more of a Ground man.  But MJ suited up and he couldn’t lead the Wizards to the playoffs, let alone sniff a Championship.  LeBron, you can claim a victory in a Jordan failure.  How awesome would that be?  Melo would begin to rewrite the books about his legacy with a Championship, but he can also claim that which “His Airness” could not.  That allure alone should push King James here, and that double win for Melo’s legacy should be tempting.

All I’m saying is that the Washington Wizards should be on these Superstars radar and sadly enough they probably are not.  So if everyone in D.C. or everyone that loves the Wizards could share this and build up a ground swell that maybe will reach one of these superstars we may get my wish, and eventually get all of D.C.’s wish and that is to win the NBA Championship!

Written By:

Jason Allen

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen

You Like Man Stuff?  I’m sure you do so follow me for me of it @UnsportsmenBigJ

No intro at all just watch and listen as your geek heart explodes:


BBBBOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, how great was that?  You know the first thing that popped into my head?  Buddy cop movie with the Joker and Luke Skywalker hunting down the Hobgoblin.  Now I know it’s hard to believe The Joker as a cop, but that would be the twist that the whole time The Joker was manipulating the events that Luke and him encountered all day and the Hobgoblin was really just a henchman to the Joker.  It would be like a creepy version of “Training Day” mixed with “Seven”.  You can just see Luke begging to know “What’s in the box?” and Mara Jada’s head is in there covered in clown paint.

Now I have taken this “Something Cool” into a galaxy far, far, away with making a movie idea out of Mark Hamill’s voice work.  Matter of fact, I think I’m going to watch it again.


Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen

For more cool shit follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ or subscribe to this site.


I think I’m going to start a segment called “Something Cool”  And to jump start this with who or what else than The Batman.  Hopefully this brings everyone back to their childhood with this one.  Also there is just something epic about the music in this and when I watched it on tv as a kid.  Enjoy!


I’m not the hugest Batman fan, when I was younger I did enjoy him more until I realized a lot of things about Batman I didn’t like. here is my list and goes a little something like this:

1.  He is a lunatic, only person I think is crazier than Batman is Rorschach from “Watchmen”.  You don’t believe Batman is crazy?  Please look at the facts:

-He dresses up as a BAT as a grown ass man!

-He trains kids to fight crime even after some have died, he vows to never do it again and then up pops another kid sidekick (or teen sidekick)

-In his fight against crime he refuses to use guns because his parents were killed by guns, yet everyone uses guns on him.  I would say that is dumb but we all know Batman is smart; see #2.  Hell at least use rubber bullets.

-When a villain is not afraid of an all powerful alien, but shudders in their boots because a man in a bat costume glares at them, that is insane.  In the words of the late James Brown, I don’t know Karate, but I know KRRAAZZYYY!  Now imagine a guy that knows both, beware Chuck Norris.

-He is a billionaire that rather spend time with a kid, and old man, in a dark, dank cave instead of being an awesome jet setting billionaire that has tons of sex with models, buying the night spots, and just going crazy with the family inheritance.

-Not to mention the women to really catch his eye are a Princess of an Assassins Guild, a cat burglar (granted the cat suit would do it for me too, especially if you throw Halle Berry, or Michelle Pfeiffer in it), Renaissance fighter, a spy for the Black Hand, a crazy plant lady who has tried to poison him, his former bodyguard, and an Amazon Warrior (Kudos if anyone can name all of the women I’m referring to, and then you will realize that you are as geeky and pathetic as I…  I call that a soul mate).  You date crazy, because you are crazy!

So yes Batman is Bat-Shit Cray (I know saying cray is very uncool now, its like when I first heard my mom say swag. WORD OFFICIALLY DEAD!) Crazy.

2.  I don’t mind insane characters, hell I like Rorschach, even the insane Deadpool, and Punisher.  Yet they make Batman unbeatable, which is my main problem with Batman.  Don’t give me the super intelligence angle either, you can be the smartest man in the world or even in the universe but one solid punch from a Man of Steel should shatter a skull.  Now lately they have made Batman more vulnerable and don’t have him going toe to toe with the likes of Darkseid, but there was a point when Batman was the underdog that could… no matter how unrealistic the odds.

3.  Batman is so FUCKING COOL!!!  And I hate him for it.  I’m a Supes fan through and through and the Ultimate Boy Scout can’t hold a candle to the awesomeness of Batman.  The hiding in the shadows, the overlooking the city like a crime fighting Gargoyle.  Just nothing compares to The Cool of The Batman (that would be a great album name for an Alternative Hip Hop Artist, Childish Gambino I’m looking at you).

Enjoy this short by the man who made my image of Batman so cool Bruce Timm (and for a lot of us he shaped our love for the DC Animated Universe, and I wish Timm and Dini would get back in to help with the movies):

Here is a trailer for the upcoming “Son of Batman”, and we know the DC Animated Universe hits Home Runs!  This looks amazing!

And lastly just a great geekgasm, this definitely has Frank Miller Batman era written all over it.  Lord why can’t we get this in real life?

Happy 75th Anniversary Batman and here is to another 75 years of being crazy, unstoppable, and cool!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen

If you have the answers to all the Batman lovers or just want to debate how awesome you think Batman is to how much I think he sucks tweet and follow me @UnSportsMenBigJ

Communication is the key to a successful marriage.  I have heard this statement a ton of times and I admit that statement was going to be the easiest part of the marriage in my mind.  Why?  Because I talk a lot, but I also pride myself in listening well too.  Yet I think that statement should be expanded upon.  “Having the RIGHT type of Communication is the key to a successful marriage.”

Being a newlywed, I’m experiencing all the bliss and the thrills, but now that we are settling in, the language and form in which we speak is starting to change.  Rather my wife’s language is changing and I need to get with the progress.  When I say the “right type” I mean tackling the uncomfortable conversations on a weekly basis.  The usual weekly meetings should be about:

1.  Finance/Credit/Budget/Savings

2.  Sex and Relating/Romance

3.  What bothers or upsets you

4.  What makes you happy

These are some of the most uncomfortable convos to have, but if you can bare through it, it is worth it.  I just find that it is weird discussing, what we are doing with OUR (because I want to say MY) money.  It doesn’t help the situation when you have a bender and spend $200 at a bar.  In a marriage you have to admit mistakes and be open even when you know it will be a lot of disappointed looks and you will feel embarrassed, because you let impulse enjoyment set us back financially.  Also these weekly discussions should focus on reestablishing a budget and sticking to it.  Questions should be “How much do you really need in an entertainment fund a month?”  “Do we really need the deluxe package of cable?”  “Is having ______ going to impact your happiness and enjoyment aka is it worth it?”, “Lets look at what we have both spent and see where we can cut (gas, haircuts, fast food, everything should be listed, if you spend it list it)?”,  “How much can we save (because you should always pay yourself first)?”  Fellas and ladies, have these convos and be open and honest.  I have hid CC bills in hope to pay them off before it was noticed.  I have purchased things under the table and tried to maneuver money around to get the item or items of my desire.  At the end of the day the sneakiness and mistrust is not worth it.

Lets talk about sex.  Now this can make the women gun shy, especially if the sex life is not where they want it to be.  Either it can be to much, not enough, wanting more stimulation, more foreplay, or just plan out more romance.  These are things that both parties have to be on board for.  Remember in these conversations to be very thick skinned with honesty, because most men are very sensitive about how they’re “laying it down”.  I went through a stage where I was working a lot, and on my off day I spent it with our daughter and I started to neglect my wife’s needs.  When she approached me about it I went on the defensive.  I couldn’t understand how this woman I love couldn’t see all the work I was doing, all the pressure I was under, and just how tired I was from working so much.  I looked at it as she was being selfish and very unthoughtful.  Until I was told by one of my best friends that I need to see it from her side.  She works too, she is tired, she is with our daughter all day while I’m away, and when I get home I’m probably neglecting her or not giving her a portion of my time.  Along with all that, she has needs too (hard to believe women have needs right 1959), just like my job, just like my daughter, and just like me.  So the advice was treat our sex/relating life as if it is a job.  In the sense of make time for it, prepare for it, make it an essential or necessity.  I wouldn’t miss work because I was tired?  I wouldn’t play with our daughter because I was tired?  So why would I not be intimate because I’m tired?  So you find the energy and I kind of realized it is like the gym.  You know how you don’t want to go to the gym, but once your in there (pun intended) you are glad you…  came! (Kind of gross but intended).

Number 3, is usually hard for the woman to take or understand.  WHAT BOTHERS ME!  Now in my recent history usually what bothers my wife is me not helping enough around the house.  Or me leaving my clothes in the living room and not taking it to the bedroom.  Now in my logic I’m probably going to re wear those clothes or I’m separating them for the washing machine.  Regardless of my reasoning, just take the damn clothes to the bedroom.  Simple fix!  I feel that sometimes women take it harder when guys mention things that bother them.  I know ladies, you think, change that know, you are absolutely perfect in our eyes and yes you are (hey I learned from “White Man Can’t Jump” listen to the woman), but sometimes simple things like not putting toilet paper on the roll after using it all bothers me.  Drinking out of my cup or eating food off my plate without asking, bothers me.  The exchange of these comments will foster a respect and a better relationship.  Also this allows both parties to try and eliminate issues in a productive and non confrontational way.

Lastly on to the bliss!  What is better than sitting there and hearing the love of your life tell you how great you are.  How great of a father you are.  How she loves when you hold her.  Also men this is an open forum to express our true feelings about our wife.  Sometimes its tough to let the guard down and say what your thinking and feeling, but this is the moment and you wont be judged for it.  Enjoy this moment, because you will spend the next week trying to work on numbers 1-3 and that will be difficult.

Now I’m not saying you can’t talk about these things throughout the week, and you should.  Reminding your life partner about things we both agreed to work on throughout the week is fine, your developing new habits to love each other better.  I’m only 4 months into this marriage game, and I still slip and fall.  Everyday is an exciting challenge in learning each other and what we can do to grow as a family.  Again the best advice I can give is communicate about the RIGHT things, because asking how your day was everyday, and saying “Hey I’m going out” is not going to cut it.  Details and subject matter can take your relationship/marriage from confusion and mistrust to openness and honesty.

Written by:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen

What do you think about my topics of communication?  Have I missed any?  Comment below

Follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ

The “Friendzone” and Why You Should Shut The Fuck Up About it

     We’ve all been there am I right?  You’ve been so considerate to a girl, you’ve listened to her problems, given her all your best advice, you’ve really put yourself out there for her all to hear the dreaded words, “Let’s just be friends.”.  Oh no! You’ve been friend-zoned! How could she?! That bitch!

     Oh the friend-zone. The purgatory “nice guys” are doomed to live in because a woman has failed to see his true potential as a mate. Here is a huge wake up call for you “nice” guys out there.  The term “friend-zone” is gross.  It implies that the only reason for your pursuit of a woman’s friendship is to get laid, or start a romantic relationship (that will ultimately end in getting laid).  Feigning friendship in order to get laid is disgusting, and women don’t owe you shit. You should be nice and respectful to women (and everyone else you encounter) because that’s the right thing to do, not because you think you will be rewarded.  Women are human beings (just like you!) and their feelings are valid.  If a girl doesn’t want to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship with you it doesn’t make her a “bitch” it makes her a person with feelings and free will.  Women are not slot machines you can just feed “nice coins” into and watch as sex falls out.  Perhaps you should think about what kind of “nice guy” you are if you would go to such lengths as to fake a friendship just to get into someone’s pants. Or hey, maybe you really liked her and she didn’t reciprocate, that’s a bummer, unrequited love is never fun.

     There are a slew of reasons why she may not have wanted to be involved in anything other than a friendship.  Maybe she just isn’t physically attracted to you, maybe you’re on different levels spiritually or intellectually, whatever the reason is it certainly doesn’t make her the bad guy for not wanting to take your relationship to the next level and it also doesn’t mean that she has intentionally placed you in a proverbial “zone”.  It just means she’s not into you.  Fortunately, all is not lost.  There are ways you can fix this.  Form a friendship with a woman– a real friendship.  Look past the breasts and realize that these women (even the ones you want to fuck) have thoughts, ambitions, fears, and feelings just like you.  They are not sexual objects but complex and diverse individuals.  Look at the world around you.  If you are genuine and sincere about your feelings, chances are, you will find a girl who wants to be in a romantic/sexual relationship.  

     Playing the “nice guy” just to get laid will probably continue to end in rejection.  And it should.  The “friend-zone” isn’t real fellas, it is misogynistic bullshit you have created to make yourself feel better when a woman rejects your advances.  My friendship is not some shitty consolation prize you get instead of sex.  If you’re so infuriated about the fact that you were nice to some girl, and pretended to listen and care about her life, and she didn’t even reward you by letting you see her naked then you probably aren’t mature enough to be having sex anyway.

Written By:  Billy Barkofsky-Thompson, a girl that “friend zoned” me without me knowing it (and has loved every minute of it).  All because I turned on Scooby-Doo at a Bar instead of Football.

So fellas and ladies what do you think?  Don’t hesitate to leave comments, debate is the best way to educate.

Nerves up, Heart racing, sweat on brow and upper lip.  Ball hiked pass thrown, pass tipped, and intercepted.  In a surge of anger/rage/disappointment I toss my 49er hat and Kick it up the hallway, while yelling FUUUCCCKKK!!!!  I walk right into my room strip down and go straight to bed.  Why do sports drive us so insane?

As I lay dreaming, I’m hoping that in my fit that a penalty is called, and I missed it. That the 49ers lead by Kaepernick won the game and I missed it all (granted my DVR would have been viewing).  That I would wake up to the 49ers repeating as NFC Champions.  Sadly enough that was not to come true and would remain in my dreams.

I was MISERABLE for two days.  My wife knew not to talk to me, my team members at work didn’t mention the game.  Even an open Seattle Seahawk fan I work with didn’t mention the game.  Everyone knew I was in a bad mood and it showed on my face.  How can a game that I placed no money on, that the result wouldn’t effect my life, except for my mood which is a direct result of me, change so much.  The Answer:  Passion and Love!

Sports fans all over the world know the feeling.  Some how we have built up this emotional tie to a team or person that can dictate or lives based on the results.  Even in the defeat the feeling lets us know we are alive, and in victory the joy can put a pep in our step like no other.  I have met people that their life is God, Sports, Children, Spouse, and Family.  Yes in that order!  And you can make an argument that the God is really a sport’s god.

I always say to myself, “Self if you could have that same passion for your work, or Blog you would be the most successful person ever”  and it’s true the same Passion and Love that can change my life for two days (or a week when the 49ers lost the Super Bowl) can be harnessed into my other loves then life would be even better.  So basically I’m writing this to say this year, I’m on a mission to learn how to build Passion and Love in all my walks of life and challenge everyone to do the same.  But we can never deny the rush that Sports give us and I’m thankful for the good/bad reminder that I’m ALIVE!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen

If you want more Man Stuff (bad way to say that) fun talk about Sports, Movies, TV, Books, and just general things Follow me @UnSportsMenBigJ

If you want to guest write on UnSportsMenMic please tweet me, or email me  All articles wanted and accepted!  I mean We Are The People’s Hope!


%d bloggers like this: