I’m not the hugest Batman fan, when I was younger I did enjoy him more until I realized a lot of things about Batman I didn’t like. here is my list and goes a little something like this:

1.  He is a lunatic, only person I think is crazier than Batman is Rorschach from “Watchmen”.  You don’t believe Batman is crazy?  Please look at the facts:

-He dresses up as a BAT as a grown ass man!

-He trains kids to fight crime even after some have died, he vows to never do it again and then up pops another kid sidekick (or teen sidekick)

-In his fight against crime he refuses to use guns because his parents were killed by guns, yet everyone uses guns on him.  I would say that is dumb but we all know Batman is smart; see #2.  Hell at least use rubber bullets.

-When a villain is not afraid of an all powerful alien, but shudders in their boots because a man in a bat costume glares at them, that is insane.  In the words of the late James Brown, I don’t know Karate, but I know KRRAAZZYYY!  Now imagine a guy that knows both, beware Chuck Norris.

-He is a billionaire that rather spend time with a kid, and old man, in a dark, dank cave instead of being an awesome jet setting billionaire that has tons of sex with models, buying the night spots, and just going crazy with the family inheritance.

-Not to mention the women to really catch his eye are a Princess of an Assassins Guild, a cat burglar (granted the cat suit would do it for me too, especially if you throw Halle Berry, or Michelle Pfeiffer in it), Renaissance fighter, a spy for the Black Hand, a crazy plant lady who has tried to poison him, his former bodyguard, and an Amazon Warrior (Kudos if anyone can name all of the women I’m referring to, and then you will realize that you are as geeky and pathetic as I…  I call that a soul mate).  You date crazy, because you are crazy!

So yes Batman is Bat-Shit Cray (I know saying cray is very uncool now, its like when I first heard my mom say swag. WORD OFFICIALLY DEAD!) Crazy.

2.  I don’t mind insane characters, hell I like Rorschach, even the insane Deadpool, and Punisher.  Yet they make Batman unbeatable, which is my main problem with Batman.  Don’t give me the super intelligence angle either, you can be the smartest man in the world or even in the universe but one solid punch from a Man of Steel should shatter a skull.  Now lately they have made Batman more vulnerable and don’t have him going toe to toe with the likes of Darkseid, but there was a point when Batman was the underdog that could… no matter how unrealistic the odds.

3.  Batman is so FUCKING COOL!!!  And I hate him for it.  I’m a Supes fan through and through and the Ultimate Boy Scout can’t hold a candle to the awesomeness of Batman.  The hiding in the shadows, the overlooking the city like a crime fighting Gargoyle.  Just nothing compares to The Cool of The Batman (that would be a great album name for an Alternative Hip Hop Artist, Childish Gambino I’m looking at you).

Enjoy this short by the man who made my image of Batman so cool Bruce Timm (and for a lot of us he shaped our love for the DC Animated Universe, and I wish Timm and Dini would get back in to help with the movies):

Here is a trailer for the upcoming “Son of Batman”, and we know the DC Animated Universe hits Home Runs!  This looks amazing!

And lastly just a great geekgasm, this definitely has Frank Miller Batman era written all over it.  Lord why can’t we get this in real life?

Happy 75th Anniversary Batman and here is to another 75 years of being crazy, unstoppable, and cool!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you have the answers to all the Batman lovers or just want to debate how awesome you think Batman is to how much I think he sucks tweet and follow me @UnSportsMenBigJ

Advertisements